Memo from the pastor’s wife
27 Jan 2012 3 Comments
in this & that
- We’re not natives. We don’t know where the grocery used to be, who is related to whom or went to school together, and we had no way of meeting the people who died before we arrived.
- My husband works Sunday morning. Please don’t ask where we’re going for the three day weekend; even though you’ll be gone, there will still be a worship service.
- Unless you never take weekend trips, don’t complain if we leave town in the middle of the week once in a while. That’s our “weekend.”
- We have family too. Unless they’re in the same state or the next one, we only have two or three weeks of vacation time to spend time with our aging relatives and try to get to know our small relatives.
- Don’t take our homeschooling personally. It has nothing to do with your local schools and everything to do with our ability to spend time together in spite of dad working weekends & evenings.
- Finally, we may love our new home, or we may suffer from homesickness. We’ll do our best to be polite, but don’t assume that we like it here just because you do.
(Please realize that this post is not written about any one person or congregation, but rather is a cumulative response to sixteen years of being a pastor’s wife as well as having dear friends who are pastor’s wives or otherwise outsiders in their community.)
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Jan 27, 2012 @ 15:12:31
Almost all of those could apply to us, too…as a military family. Only difference is, wherever we go, there’s sure to be a lot of people who “get it”. I hope you have someone close (both physically and in friendship) that understands what your life is like. I know from experience what it’s like to live without a close friend to commiserate with.
Jan 27, 2012 @ 15:22:26
I like what you have written here and would add
* My husband pours his heart and soul into the care of the congregation, but he’s just a sinful man like you, he will make mistakes, there is no doubt about that, but please don’t tell me about them and please don’t complain about him where I can hear you. That hurts, and it’s words I can’t unremember later when you are trying to be nice to me.
Jan 29, 2012 @ 12:48:24
Gina, yes it does and no I can’t unremember either.
Leslie, I was thinking of my military wife friends too when I wrote this. Unfortunately I’m pretty isolated here–both as pastor’s wife and as homeschooler (combing those really makes me odd man out)–which is why I spend too much time with my friends online.