Happy 13!

This post is even later than the New Year’s post, but in a culture where marriages crumble daily it seems right and necessary to mark each anniversary as a gift from God. Larry and I celebrated 13 years of marriage last Tuesday, December 30, by going out for lunch, just the two of us! As corny as it may sound, I certainly love him more with each passing year, and I thank God that He caused our paths to cross 14 years ago this month. Our marriage is far from perfect, but our commitment to each other binds us together for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; til death do us part.

O Lord Jesus, Your mercies are new every morning. We thank You for another year of married life together for Larry and Angie. Open their hearts always to receive more of Your love that their love for each other may never grow weary but deepen and grow through every joy and sorrow shared; for You live and reign with the Father and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.

Oh, bother!

I was thinking my last post came across rather whinier than I meant, but now that the kids are in bed and I have time to fix it, I see that several of you have already read it and commented. So I’ll write another post instead.

A lot of the things I mentioned show just how much I depend on Larry, and I do, but he’s certainly more than that to me! I also ‘need’ him home for things like watching the next season of Monarch of the Glen, talking through whatever is on his mind or mine, and. . .well, you can use your imagination. Nothing anyone else is going to help with, that’s for sure!

He’s been away from home longer than this before (work-related), but this is decidedly different. Obviously there are the worries about his health, especially before they found it was pneumonia. Also we usually stay in touch via cell phone several times a day. . .now his cell phone is sitting at home next to mine as talking wears him out. I don’t seem to get much done in between trips to the hospital to check on him (which is thankfully only 5 minutes away). This noon a church member watched the older five while baby and I went to the hospital, but mostly I’ve taken at least 4 if not all 6 children with me. It makes the visits that much shorter, but the kids are missing daddy too.

We’ll make it through. I’ll even ask for help if I can. But Larry’s shoes are too big for anyone to really fill. . .

Alone

It seems a bit silly to complain of loneliness when I spend most of my days surrounded by six adorable children, doesn’t it? But right now Larry~my best friend-husband-lover~is hospitalized with pneumonia, and I most definitely feel alone. Once the grapevine started doing its work, I’ve been inundated with phone calls and emails urging me to let the caller/writer now if they can help with anything. And for the most part, I’ve smiled and thanked them for their prayers and left it at that, knowing I probably won’t take them up on their offer. After all, who else is going to. . .

Convince the 3yo to go back to sleep in the wee hours so he doesn’t wake his baby brother?

Start breakfast while I shower after an early morning walk?

Be here for 3 meals every day (and take me out to eat if I got too busy to fix anything)?

Lead our family in daily devotions?

Deal with the 11yo when he’s been talking back to me? (sidenote: said 11yo has actually been mostly helpful this week)

Anticipate when I really need a bag of dark chocolate M & M’s?

Never complain about my cooking?

Direct the clean up of the daily toy explosion so I can fix dinner, fold laundry, or maybe just sew?

Ensure that the 9yo takes a shower and uses SOAP, as well as give the little boys their baths?

Talk to me on the phone now & again throughout the day, to keep my sanity in check?

Wear out the 6yo & 3yo by getting on the floor and wrestling with them?

Fix my computer. . .again?

Snuggle in bed with me at the end of a long day (and maybe rub my back)?

The list goes on, but I imagine you get the idea. . .the only thing I really need is my husband back on his feet! So to all who have offered to help, THANK YOU, your offer is much appreciated! The most helpful thing that any of you can do is, of course, to pray for his continued healing if it be God’s will. Otherwise, we’ll muddle along as best we can until he can come home again.

Especially for my fellow PWs

I’m working on getting my pictures ready to show why I haven’t blogged for awhile, but in the meanwhile I thought some of you would appreciate this musical parody. Julee gets the credit for finding this one. . .and before anyone sends hatemail to Larry, he is mostly very good about not using us as sermon illustrations. If you see me rolling my eyes in the pew, it’s usually because you can take the boy out of Minnesota. . .but you can’t take the Minnesotan out of his speech.

Twitterpated

So for anyone who wondered if Larry also sent me flowers for Valentine’s Day, the answer is no. . .he waited until yesterday, when I wouldn’t expect flowers!

(I decided not to zoom in too much, wanting to show where I keep all the recipes I mentioned recently! The papers in front are my weekly menu, running shopping list, and checklist for kids’ chores. . .and this is only part of my strawberry collection, which really needs a better place to be displayed in my new kitchen.)

On being pastor’s wife

Last month, while sitting around Melody’s table, Barb brought up the question of the role of pastor’s wife. She & Carol have both been quite involved in their congregations at times while Julee & I have been more laidback. I don’t remember which way the conversation went from that point, but considering what kind of pastor’s wife I am (or should be) gave me something to think about on our long drive to our new church. I realized that most of what I do (or don’t do) reflects who I am as Angie, not as Larry’s wife: I would continue to do many of the same things at church even if he changed his vocation.

And so it is that I do not sing in the choir~anyone who’s heard me sing wouldn’t ask me to do so anyhow. I do however make a joyful noise unto the Lord from my own pew every week and I nudge my children to sing as well.

Although I homeschool our children, I’m not particularly gifted with children or teaching. I bring our children faithfully to Sunday School and attend Bible study myself, but I’ve learned not to volunteer to teach a class.

I love to bake and am always glad to bring food for funerals and other church dinners, but it has never worked for me to help serve.

I am not very outgoing, so it doesn’t work well for me to fill any position that involves leadership. I am happy to help where I can, but I avoid being the one in charge.

I also realized that a lot of what shapes my role as pastor’s wife is my current stage in life; there are some things that just can’t be done well with a baby on my hip or a toddler wrapped around my leg. Like most pastor’s families, we live far enough from grandparents that we need to pay a babysitter if we both go somewhere without the kids. Since Larry is being paid to serve the congregation as pastor, and our budget is tight, I usually stay at home with the kids.

Even so, there are a few things I do that are specific to being the pastor’s wife. Some of those come more naturally to me than others.

I take care of the pastor so he can concentrate on his work at church: I make sure he has clean socks, family meals planned around his schedule, a fresh haircut, a positive balance in the checkbook, and a clean home for relaxing.

Sometimes I take on the role of unpaid secretary as well, reminding him of appointments or other things that need doing. I proofread some of his letters and write the majority of our thank you notes, especially at Christmas time. At times I help him find the hymn or Bible verse he can’t quite place.

As an introvert, the most challenging part for me is being sociable with all the members after church; small talk can be literally exhausting for me. Please understand: they are wonderful people! Thankfully I am learning that usually people are happy with someone to listen to them which means I don’t have to say much; the only problem comes later when I can’t remember who told me what.

However it is handled, the role of pastor’s wife is decidedly unique. At this point in history, it’s one of the few vocations that still has expections for the whole family. The challenge is to find a happy balance between the congregation’s expectations and their pastor’s wife’s abilities and interests.

Rings of Love

Yesterday I forgot to take a book to read while waiting for the dentist; in trying to keep my eyes open I began to study again the pair of rings on my left hand. What a simple way to be reminded that I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine!

Although Larry chose my ring on his own, I remember the Saturday in late April when we went to the jewelry shop together “to look.” I suppose he wanted to get some idea of what I might like; I wanted him to see that an engagement ring was out of his budget as a vicar. After all, he still had another year of seminary left and his education was more important to our future than a sparkly rock. I know diamonds come in all price ranges, but if I was to wear one I wanted to be able to see it. Otherwise, I would be happy with just a wedding band.

I was living with my Mimi at the time, and she caught wind of our plans for the day. She immediately perked up and started looking around her house for diamonds. (yes, really!) By the time Larry brought me back home that evening she had found an old Masonic ring that my grandfather wasn’t wearing anymore, having passed away when I was in high school. Mimi entrusted the ring & its diamond to Larry’s care, and that was the last I heard or saw of the matter for awhile.

After Ascension Day service the next month, Larry & I returned to his apartment. He went down on one knee, offering a simple diamond solitaire set in white gold and asking for my hand in marriage. Naturally I said yes and he placed the ring on my finger. We spent the rest of our evening talking & dreaming until it was time for him to deliver me to the friends’ house where I would be staying the night.

As our dreams turned into plans, we returned to the jewelry shop together to look at wedding bands. We both chose simple white gold bands: his wider and larger, both engraved inside with our initials and wedding date. It fell to me to keep the jeweler’s box and I loved to take it out & admire our rings, eagerly awaiting the 30th of December.

As a newlywed the sight of our rings always gave me goosebumps (and sometimes made me giggle). Now wearing my rings is second nature to me, as is being married. Yet I am ever thankful for my marriage, even when I am not thinking about it.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I admit, I thought Larry would forget. . .after all we don’t usually make a big deal of Valentine’s Day. If we can find a sitter we might go out to lunch~or we might just have a special family dinner. We seldom do gifts or cards for each other or for the kids. But with his new job he isn’t even home today, making it rather lonely for me. So imagine my surprise when FedEx arrived right before lunch, bringing me this. Okay, so my bouquet isn’t all full and fluffy looking yet; according to the card tulips will bloom after picking and so my vase is actually full of red, pink, & white tulip buds. But they are still pretty and a very sweet gesture from the most wonderful man in the world!